There’s someone I know who’s never stood up to a certain bully in his life. He thinks there is some grace to be had in toleration and accommodation. Maybe there is, but it resembles no earthly morality. Any reward for such behavior is between him and God alone.
story of my fucking life
It’s a number of reasons. Part of it is how popularity works: if you’re spending time accommodating yourself to social norms, you’re probably not bettering yourself. This obviously affects both people in a relationship and how they get involved in the first place.
I think there’s also some people who mistake being obnoxious for confidence, stubbornness as righteousness, classlessness as boldness.
There are some people who go after people who are very visibly flawed because they think they can control or better them.
And let’s not pretend that people actually like intelligence. A lot of people are scared to death of it. It might change one’s mind, after all, and shatter the little schemes we come up with to control our little our world. Heaven forbid we be wrong.
General advice, to no one in particular: if you want someone right for you, be your best and recognize that there are all kinds of different men and all different kinds of women. Get away from the books and movies and everything else about romance and relationship advice and find solid people. Start reaching out to people. Be the change you want to see.
I honestly feel less and less each day. I can feel myself slipping away- it is an odd sensation to know what is going to happen next. I feel like I am always repeating myself, over and over and over and over again in the hopes that finally someone will listen. I keep asking god what I am meant to do with my life. for him to give me some direction but I don’t think we’re on speaking terms since my last debacle and so I am just wandering aimlessly on this big brown planet waiting for a decision, some final decisive thought in my head. something or someone to tell me what to do. I am like a child always in need of direction, always struggling and never ever content.
I am so sick of threats and falsities and shit and nothingness. I am sick of it all and I don’t want it anymore at all. I miss my friends, you know I haven’t spoken to someone my own age in almost two years now. It has been forever since I have been in a social situation. I want to cry so badly but nothing comes and I just hate myself. Hate myself for not being a stronger person, for not standing up when I should have. For not leaving when the door was still swung open. I am not myself but I do not know myself.
I am forever in an awkward position.